It’s Ok To Be Sad You Don’t Have A Dad

Why I Wrote This Post

I wrote this post because the more I talk with people the more I realize people losing their dads or not having dads present in their lives emotionally is more common than people think these days.

I plan to form this blog post into a children’s book one day. This is another rough draft idea of mine. Let me know what you think and what is helpful. If you haven’t read the other children’s book idea of mine I posted it May 15, 2015 entitled “Every Deserves A Pom Pom” if you want to read that one as well.

I wrote this as an exaggerated discussion with my almost 4-year-old son. We have had many conversations like this one but I combined many ideas into one. Hope you enjoy it:

“Mommy. It makes me sad I don’t have a dad”

“I know it does honey. I’m sad you don’t have a dad too. I miss your dad all the time.”

“Yeah, he was a good dad.”

“He was. And he loved you so much.”

“Yeah I know. ”

“I know none of your friends have lost their dads like you baby but Father’s Day is not easy for everyone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Some people have father’s who love them. Some have father’s who don’t. Some have father’s that look like great dads when they are around other people but when they are at home they are not nice to their families. Some have father’s who left their family to live somewhere else and didn’t tell anyone where they went. Some father’s got divorced and live in separate homes from their kids and only see them certain days. Some have never even got to meet their dad. And some die like yours. And I know nothing I say can bring him back or ever replace your dad but you did have a dad for two years of your life.

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Our first and only time we went to the beach just the three of us. Shortly after this our 14 month cancer journey started.

You had a dad who loved you. You had a dad who cared about your heart and your character. You had a dad who dreamed of playing baseball with you when you got older. You had a dad that even though he had cancer and was in so much pain he chose to love you and me until he died. He chose to hold you when you cried. He chose keep working so we could have food to eat everyday.”

“Yeah, I remember watching TV with him and the nurses in the hospital gave me juice and crackers when we visited daddy. I still feel sad though.”

“I know you do. I cannot take away the sadness that you feel. But I can join you in your sadness. I get sad a lot too about missing your dad. And I can join you when you angry, or feel lonely, or feel like you are the only one without a dad. Because I feel the same things sometimes and it makes me sad you have to feel these things. But do you know what I else I can do?”

“What?”

“I can pray for you. Prayer is not only for talking to God it is also a way to invite him to join you in how you are feeling.  I can pray that you would feel God’s comfort like a warm blanket around you. I can pray for your heart to have peace like a peaceful lake. I can pray that God would sing over your heart kinda like how when mommy sings you to sleep. Some times prayers are like hugs for our hearts. I guess you could call them prayer hugs. Some problems cannot be fixed but everyone deserves to be hugged and have their hearts hugged by God when they are hurting or having a bad day.”

“Yeah but I’m having a sad day.”

“Yeah, we all have sad days. But we have each other and we have God and so many friends and family to be with us when we are having sad days.”

Closing Remarks

I hope that however you are feeling this Father’s Day you would know that you are loved. I know there are some people who don’t have dads like my son or have dads that they have never felt loved them back. But you are loved by so many other people. And even though I cannot physically be with everyone who is hurting this Father’s Day know that I pray that God would hug all of your hearts today with however you are feeling today. He cares about our hearts and our hurts. I can never get enough of this verse of God being protective like a father but also gentle and loving like a mother:

Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV) says:

“The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”

 

One thought on “It’s Ok To Be Sad You Don’t Have A Dad”

  1. My heart aches for you both. I still have the lovely celebration of his life that you shared with everyone at his memorial. Thank you for sharing your continued journey…

    Like

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